What Would You Do?

4363.jpegA few years ago, while on vacation, my 6 year old daughter was trying to help fix our dinner, and burned her hand on the stove. 5 years later, she still remembers that incident and has become quite good at fixing scrambled eggs in the skillet on our stove at home. It would be great if things worked out that way in every situation: Minor burn leads to wise use of the stove. Unfortunately there are things that are way more destructive at first contact, and require guidance and wisdom from someone with more knowledge and life experience.

One of our jobs as parents is to help our kids process and react to the world around them in a healthy manner. As much as we would like them to just be able to do this on their own, and from a young age, we are responsible for guiding our kids into wisdom. While there is some merit to allowing our kids to learn from experience and making their own mistakes, we wouldn’t want to take that chance with things with the potential for permanent and major injury, like trying heroin or robbing a bank. If wisdom came only through direct experience, we would have a lot of maimed and addicted kids.

A great way for us as parents to pass wisdom on to our kids is to have what Psychologists call “Dilemma Discussions”. These are conversations about real world circumstances where the characters involved have decisions to make. Circumstances could be real or made up, a story on the news or something you think your kids should think through. For each character in the scenario, ask your kids, “What would you do if you were in that position?” and “How could things have worked out better for that person?” and “Can you think of a verse in the Bible that might help us decide?” If your kids can’t think of one, be ready with a few proverbs or characters from Scripture that were in similar circumstances.

These conversations could happen in the car, around the dinner table, or just sitting in front of the TV (TV characters make for excellent dilemma discussions because they usually make terrible decisions!). If we’re intentional with these kinds of discussions, we help our kids develop the cognitive skills to reason through decisions and make healthy choices later in life.

Good News About Marriage!

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Would you believe that the divorce rate has never gotten near 50%?

Would you believe that the divorce rate plummets with something as simple as church attendance?

Would you believe that a HUGE majority of marriages are happy?

Would you believe that divorce is not the biggest threat to marriage?

Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-trained social researcher, popular speaker, and best-selling author of For Women Only and other books with sales of more than two million copies in 22 languages. Here’s a link to get your copy of this great and encouraging book!

Porn and Men

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This series of articles highlights the scientific and psychological issues related to porn addiction and ends with a good article about how to quit. Though they mention the faith aspect, they don’t adequately describe the importance of confession, repentance, and the restoration available through our growing relationship with Christ. But from a (mostly) secular perspective, this is all quite good.

The first in a series on the effects of Porn on men

Men and Porn 2

The Pitfalls of Porn

How to Quit Porn

Youth Culture and Parenting

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Want to keep up with current cultural trends? Wonder what’s up with that new movie? Want to know what your kids are listening to, and how to talk with them about it from a Christian perspective? Here’s your resource. http://www.cpyu.org

Youth Culture expert Walt Mueller has been studying this topic for decades, and will help you process culture and give you the tools to help your teenager navigate well.

Articles Worth Reading

read-books

Destructive Parenting Habits we must replace

How We Talk To Our Kids About Time Alone With God

How to Talk to your Kids about Gender Identity

Societal Questions about the Transgender Issue

The Medical Side of the Transgender Issue

On Doofus Dads in Media

The FLEE Strategy for helping your kids with sexual purity.

X-Men and Darwinian Ethics

Athletes and Drinking

Turn Excuses into Action

C. S. Lewis and the Art of Conversation

Teaching Kids about Spiritual Warfare

The relationship of religion and sexual fulfillment

A Review of a New Book About Same Sex Marriage

Surprising benefits of giving money away

50 Shades and the Female Heart

On Christians and Drinking

One of the best Articles I’ve ever read on BMI and body image.a>

On Christian organizations hiring openly homosexual couples.

On Teens and alcohol, drugs, and smoking.